So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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