you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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