We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
