Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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