I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
