As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I pour the whiskey from now on
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
