Everything about him screamed your future.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
