yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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