I think i peed on brittanys purse
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
