OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
