i don't like sucking hair
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
