is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize