I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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