I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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