i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
why do cheetos always look like penises
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
