i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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