It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
