I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
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We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
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I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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