Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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