if you like me you must not know who I am
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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