Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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