Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
