yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
