Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
