Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
