how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
