normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
