she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize