ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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