Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
