Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
