the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
