Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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