I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
