just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
