he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
