I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
When are your genitals available?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
