Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
