Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
it's great music for shaving your balls
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
