the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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