you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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