Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
