Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
