The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
