We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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