i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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