You work out of a Hotel?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
