Do you still have your period?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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