God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
