the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
