don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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