Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize
