i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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