just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
