there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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