I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize