i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
MIDGETS
????
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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