Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
