you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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