i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
