i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
farters have to be the big spoon...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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